Forgiveness is a form of love and probably one of the most powerful things a person can do for themselves. This includes forgiving yourself as well as forgiving others. We all want God to forgive us for our sins and short comings but many of us are not willing to forgive. Un-Forgiveness often times is our inability to release that which no longer serves us, our life purpose and or our higher good.
Keep in mind that forgiveness is never for the other person, it is always for you. Forgiveness is a part of your healing process. It is the beginning of a new chapter for you. Forgiveness is letting go and letting God. When we learn to let go and forgive we get to know and understand what peace and peace of mind really is.
We must chose to release the past and forgive everyone , ourselves included. We may not know how to forgive and quite honestly we may not want to forgive, but the very fact that we are willing to forgive begins the healing process. To forgive is to heal and move towards love. To forgive is to surrender your past hurt in order to receive your present blessings. Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got!
Five Steps to Forgive and Heal:
So, I am sure you are asking how do I forgive, I am willing to forgive and I want to forgive but how do I forgive? For some of us the ability to let go is easier than it is for others. Forgiveness is simple but it definetly requires an humble heart and open mind. Here are five quick steps to approach forgivness of yourself and others.
1: First remove your ego because the ego is the biggest fault finder and advocate for un-forgivness.
2: Sit quietly with your eyes closed and say “The person I need to forgive is __________, and I need to forgive you for _____________. Sometimes it is forgiving yourself because of hurt you may have inflicted onto someone else. If this is the case then sit quietly with your eyes closed and say “I forgive myself for ___________” This step is something you may have to do a few times. Take your time with this step and allow yourself some time to really meditate and be in stillness.
3. a: Next, write a letter to each of the people you are unwilling to forgive and holding on to. Say everything to that person in this letter. Once you have completed writing this letter, take the letter and either burn it or shred it and throw it away. This symbolizes the act of releasing and letting go.
3. b: Another great practice is to stand in front of a mirror and have “Honesty Conversations” with yourself and each of the people you aren’t able to forgive. Stand in front of that mirror and act as if the mirror is the person, relationship, incident, memory and or pain you haven’t been able to forgive. Speak your truth to the “it” and allow yourself to say the things you have always wanted to say especially if it hurts. I will warn that this method of releasing can bring up a lot of old hurt and emotion so be prepared. However you will feel so good once you get it all out.
I like the idea of writing the letter or using the mirror because the truth is, you more than likely wouldn’t be able to have a real honest conversation with those who have hurt you without it becoming a conversation based in fear, hurt and resentment. The goal is to release the “it” that has been holding you back, so you can heal and move forward in love.
If you are able to speak directly with the person and you feel it will help you move forward than by all means please have the “Honesty Conversation” with them directly. Just keep an humble heart and open mind because the response may not be what you were expecting.
4: Next, pray, yes pray and ask God to deliver you from this guilt, shame and hurt you have been carrying around because of unforgiveness. Release the “it” to God, surrender that which you have been unable to release to God.
Here is a simple prayer you can say: “ Lord, I surrender this “relationship, person, incident, memory and or pain” to you. I don’t really know how to forgive but I know I am willing to forgive. I am willing to forgive myself and those who I feel have hurt me. I am seeking your forgiveness for what I may have done to hurt myself and or others because I was acting out of fear. I ask that you take this burden and release it from me, please heal my mind, body and soul. Please bless me to love the way that you love and to see every relationship, person, and incident through your eyes. Help me to remain humble and in a constant state of love”
5: Once you have prayed and surrender your “it” to God, truly move on and know that it is well. You have released it and God has received it.
I pray that this was helpful to you, remember that forgiveness is for YOU and is the gift of letting go and letting God.